Am I having a meltdown or am I crazy?

I'm 33, I'm type 1 diabetic, I have hypothyroidism, I have no job because my last job caused damage to my hands/wrist/arms, I have no insurance to fix my hands, no doctor will help me because I have no money, no one will hire me because of my hands, I'm depressed, I'm angry, my boyfriend has no sympathy (he's 25 years older then me), my family lives 1 hour away-don't have much contact with them, I live in a small town, I feel alone and ready to explode. I think I've lost my way in the world. I've been out of work this time for 4 months and before that 1 year and before that I worked for 11 years. My boyfriend supports me financially, I've never had to be supported and I hate it. I feel I have no control over my life. Since I've been out of work and alone all the time all I dwell on is past issues I never got over. What should I do before I go totally insane? I am a hermit or I gamble too much, I avoid people because I don't trust anyone, I'm paranoid and lock my doors during the day, I never answer my phone, I have social anxiety. Does anyone have any advise to help me through this and get myself together? Please help!!!!!